Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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