I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Be still, my beating vagina.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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