i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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