just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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