what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
