Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize