You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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