Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
