I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
