So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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