im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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