When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
