I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
