I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize