Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
