i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
