Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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