that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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