She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
