I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
