have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
