I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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