Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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