I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
