i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
