So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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