If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
