a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize