He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
