Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and i looked up. we had an audience...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
