Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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