I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
