what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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