i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
