Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
