I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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