I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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