Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
