When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
