don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
