bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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