I'd wear matching sweaters with you
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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