I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Still dying that you shit outside
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
