I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
