If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
