My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
