Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
