Where is the hickey?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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