After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish life had little blips of pornography
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
