just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
