I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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