I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
