i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize