Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
