i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
