But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
