well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
