Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
