ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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