you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
