Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
