It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
