I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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