You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
