We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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