The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
