I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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